Guys, listen! Sex isn’t just about physical attraction. A ribbed body with a pretty face can get you close to a girl pretty fast, but that doesn’t guarantee a smashing good time in bed with her. Women are looking for that emotional connectedness that they can share with the other guy. They want to feel that special connection with their man before they actually physically connect with him. This is where talking comes into play.
Why talking helps
Talking, besides being used for the communication of information between two parties, are mainly for the creation and maintenance of social bonds between two parties. It isn’t hard to see that – we chit-chat with our friends and family all the time. It is when we share secrets of ourselves with them that we form deep ties – it’s akin to placing a little part of you in their confidence. In return, they place some secret in your care as well, and this exchange strengthens the bond.
This is especially true for couples as well – they trade confidences, talk about the idiosyncrasies of life and exchange opinions, and this process makes the two entities involved in a relationship much closer to each other. Slowly, the trust builds up, and your girlfriend will feel secure enough with you to give you her ultimate gift: sexual intercourse.
This is why talking is so important – it builds trust between you and her.
Why you can’t just “talk”
Although I did say that talking is essential for strengthening your relationship with your lady, just talking alone isn’t enough. You might have heard your girlfriend saying things like “you never listen!” The reason for this is simple: you don’t listen! Listening is an active ability, and to make someone feel heard, you will have to put in effort to listen to what your girlfriend says.
Interjecting your girlfriend’s rambling about problems in her life doesn’t count as “listening”. Listening is not about giving your input on the current situation, or trying to solve her problems. Listening is about emphasizing with her, understanding why she’s feeling that way and through this, you’ll find yourself understanding her a little more.
Being able to listen is a sort of skill itself, and this skill will prove useful to your relationship. Trust me: You’ll be one of the few guys that make a girl feel heard, and you’ll have a special place in her heart. This is how you build trust with a girl, and will eventually end up copulating with her (although I hope that’s not your aim from the start).
How to listen to her
Listening is easy – you just have to shut down the voice that’s busy trying to come up with points for the conversation, and take note of what she has to say. Understand how she’s feeling, and rephrase what she just said. Simply doing this will make sure that you know what she’s talking about, and she’ll feel heard in the process. This skill isn’t as easy as it looks – easy to learn, hard to master.
Listening has its merits. Understand that this skill will bring you closer to your other half than ever – so go on and master it!
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